Being absolutely transparent…
So, for the past 2 months, I have felt like my life was absolutely topsy turvy.
I had a few disappointments and I allowed them to get the best of me.
I absolutely could not focus! My Sunday night sessions of After Dinner Mints (facebook live videos) became non existent. I had the hardest time writing blog posts…even coming up with things to write about.
Aside from that, the woman that I had grown to be was slowly slipping away. I reverted back to the old me.. the “giving people the business” me..the very impatient me…the very anxious me.
I was a complete and utter hot mess. I just couldn’t figure out what was going on and why everything was happening.
Then it hit me.
My circumstances were not the cause of my hot mess mentality. The disappointments were not the reasons why I could not get it together. In life, there are always disappointments and situations that happen that are beyond your control. Nothing was going on in my life that was out of the norm.
My life was not topsy turvy or out of sorts.
The way that I responded to it was.
I had stopped making my relationship with God my ABSOLUTE priority.
I was disconnected from The Vine. I was disconnected from Jesus.
Sure, I would read. I would pray. But, I wouldn’t make HIM my FOCUS and my PRIORITY. I kind of.. you know… did those things when I got around to it.
I was taking my relationship with the Lord for granted.
Being disconnected from the vine was reflected in my relationship with my husband, my relationships with my kids, and my friendships.
Can I just be real with y’all?
I found myself becoming more anxious. My nerves were SHOT!!
I found myself snapping at people and becoming very impatient in situations that I would have normally been very calm and rational about.
I found myself thinking negative thoughts about people… and pondering on them. In normal circumstances, I wouldn’t allow myself to even go there.
My kids were getting on my nerves, my friends were getting on my nerves, EVERYTHING was getting on my nerves!
But they weren’t the problem. I was.
I allowed myself to get distracted and slipped further and further away from Him.
I was looking at my beautiful hydrangeas that I had cut from the bush in my yard. I put a few in a vase on my dining room table. They were thriving and doing wonderfully at first…then, after a while.. they withered.
This is how we are when we become disconnected from the True Vine, which is Christ Jesus.
For a little while, we will appear to be fine. All will appear to be well! Then after a while, the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and self-control begin to wither. And you find yourself out of sorts..on the front seat of the struggle bus..being the leader of the pack on the hot mess express.
If you find yourself seemingly out of sorts, and it just seems like you cannot get it together, I would encourage you to go back to your roots. Go back to the basics. Get connected to the vine.
Make your relationship with Jesus your absolute priority! That relationship should come before your relationship with your spouse and your children. Your relationship with Jesus should come before your job or your business.
I have found that when I read His word before I open up any email or social media, while the house is still quiet and no one is talking to me (ha!), the rest of my day is a lot more peaceful. Even if disappointments happen, or if chaos breaks out all around me, I am able to respond to it a lot better, because I am tapped in to the ultimate source of peace.
When you are connected to the vine, He will give you the grace to handle any situation that life throws at you. Even through the craziness that life sometimes throws at you.. you will find yourself flourishing…like the beautiful hydrangeas in my yard.
Stay connected to the vine.